when it rains...it pours.

I would say something...

You are such a sweetheart. I really wish you could just not care about what other people think.

cardinalcave:

I would say somethinghmmm

happy with the light

but then

maybe all the fight between

those disembodied voices

like the one’s used to be rattleboxing

in my head

real one’s somewhere clicking on this

thing

even though

this thing is meant like their thing

to share whatever

they would go

“ah no you from that great imaginary height-

you said all that crooked tongued thisnthat”

well

maybe

but you engage me in a battle of wills

dummy

and you get bull and horns and worry enough

because

like a hunger i am an army of bad tidings

and sweet too

and either way fuck with me and with words

ill upset your tummy

and wrap you up like a spider

before he eats the mummy

BUT

what if i don’t feel like that

like

you don’t feel like this

and say

i share

because like the weather people they motivate

themselves like a seasonal charge

and….AND
that THIS is what it means to be alive

AND SAY

if it were your job to peel your skin off

and say it like it was

eve n if it were against yourself

and be a token of crystal

like emotional news

you would

be like

me too

BUT

you pay or do not pay to see how the beasts in my heart cage growl and grow

or

eat the tamers

and sometimes there is blood and feats

and sometimes there are tricks and balloons

until now

because

when you were away and when i was away

and the animals went quiet

and

i let it go

i became just me

and

i always knew there were only two endings to this story

and one

one was a goodbye

and this

this is a hello

and

i would say something,

i would say something more about myself

or being sorry

but i know

and you know

that i know

and you know

that

this was always a game

or telling a truth

too much

too hard

and

for too long

and

i did that

and

you watched

and

i broke

and

we are now here

so

i say i am now just me and all that is gone

not even tired just

bloomed and removed

and

well

now

now i would say something nice

and

you cant get mad or get sad or wish me back or wish me upside down

x’ed eyes or worse

because

i am just me now

and

we will have to get to know each other again

minus

all that pain

look

the light

how

pretty

RA

Smoking, Dentists and Love

The advice is much appreciated. However, I think I too would need some overwhelming reason to quit. No incredible angel people have found me yet. Actually, not so sure I’d notice them if they did. So, I’ll probably just keep puffing away, and unfortunately, maintain or increase the already brown hue I’ve become accustomed to. It takes being incredibly happy to be incredibly healthy, I think.

cardinalcave:

Hello.

I know that not too many people read this but I just wanted to put this out there ok?

I was a smoker for 20 years ( wow - hard to even write that!) and I quit over x-mas.

Someone I love very very much asked me to quit. It was, for me, more than enough of a reason to quit. So I quit, no help, no questions, no band aid. I just stopped.

So today I went to the dentist to have my teeth cleaned, which was something I was very much looking forward to because after a month a non-smoking me realized how awful my teeth and mouth had become from years of smoking.

I can safely say I asked the dentist here “how bad was it” and told them how I had smoked heavily for so long.

The response was shocking. My dentist said ” I won’t lie, it was pretty bad”

Now I have clean teeth and at least a shot at maintaining some dental health.

WHY AM I OVER-SHARING?????????????????????????????

This is LAME and PROBABLY NOT COOL TO SAY BUT-

IF YOU ARE A SMOKER, AND YOU ARE ON THE FENCE ABOUT IT and YOU WANT TO QUIT- JUST KNOW THIS…..I DID IT, and I AM A WHINING CRY-BABY AND I DID IT-

and just know this- YOU CAN DO IT TOO- IF I CAN DO IT YOU CAN!!!
and if you are happy smoking no problem, I get it.

I AM HAPPY I MADE THIS CHANGE, I MISS SMOKING SURE BUT STAYING HAPPY AND HEALTHY IS WAY MORE IMPORTANT-

ANYWAY- Sorry for the heavy message….

XO

Ryan

5 Celebrities to Join for a Meal: Raindrop and Let Us Live

letuslive:

raindrop:

letuslive:

raindrop:

letuslive:

raindrop:

davidryanadams:

seriously.

a re-blog game.

Name of Favorite Hair Metal Band.

I will Start. White Lion

I’m gonna go with Skid Row. I originally thought of Bon Jovi, since I was certainly caught up in his sex appeal for a period of time, but I was like 8 years old max, so maybe it doesn’t count these days. Sebastian Bach always seemed a little more rebellious though, which is a sure way to tug at a girl’s heartstrings. Then I thought of Winger, and I heard Beavis and Butthead snickering in my mind and had to give that idea up. It’s seriously a hard decision to make.

Angel Down by Sebastian Bach fuckin’ shreds… I still think that he and Axl have the best (intact) voices in hair metal.

I would also like to nominate

LIZZY BORDEN!

I don’t like absolutes. I’m naming favorite hair metal bands… not my favorite.

God, I love that photograph!

I do love Axl too. He’s a little freaky now, but he was sure dreamy in his time!

The whole concept of hair metal is freaky, but in an escapist way (think of a less harmful conspicuous consumption… for the Thorstein Veblen fans out there… yeah, I’m somewhat of a dork)… anyway, if I could have a meal with any famous person alive right now, here are my top five:

1) Axl Rose

2) Ryan Adams

3) Gary Busey

4) Maynard James Keenan

5) Christina Aguilera (crushcrushcrush)

That’s just me. Axl Rose is eccentric.

Gary Busey?? Seriously? That would be the freakiest meal ever. For sure. My top five would be (this is hard cause I’ve never thought it through before, so you get what’s on the top of my head):

1) Ryan Adams

2) Gwyneth Paltrow (my biggest girl crush of all time)

3) Albert Camus (of course this is impossible, but I love this man).

4) Madonna (I’m convinced she’s got some great theories on life)

5) Bjork (major envy)

I think I might have to many females on the list. I generally can’t communicate well with my own sex, but these are the best of the best I think.

Raindrop:

I had no idea that we are kindred souls on some level. Albert Camus is easily one of my favorite writers and The Stranger may be my favorite book. I would love to dine with any of your top 5. I have worked in mental health for over 8 years (the last several as a forensic mental health specialist) and people with different ways of approaching the world fascinate me. Gary Busey has survived a very substantial head injury and that contributes to his impulsivity and his rarely present social filter. Yet, what I have seen of Gary Busey shows me that he is a very, very smart man who seeks to live fully in the moment during his daily life journeys. I would love to dine with him. I also left Phil Lesh off of my list… and should have fit him in there. Although, if we include those no longer in human form, then I’d have to work Jerry Garcia into the list.

Raindrop:

have a blessed night! It was fun interconnecting with you during the chaos that enveloped corners of Tumblr for a short while.

The first Camus work I read was The Stranger, but my favorite Camus has to be A Happy Death. Unfortunately, I lost my copy along with my four leaf clover.

Hopefully Foggy can overcome the darkness, and accept that testing limits is, unfortunately, human nature.

Until next time, take care :)

GAME

letuslive:

raindrop:

letuslive:

raindrop:

davidryanadams:

seriously.

a re-blog game.

Name of Favorite Hair Metal Band.

I will Start. White Lion

I’m gonna go with Skid Row. I originally thought of Bon Jovi, since I was certainly caught up in his sex appeal for a period of time, but I was like 8 years old max, so maybe it doesn’t count these days. Sebastian Bach always seemed a little more rebellious though, which is a sure way to tug at a girl’s heartstrings. Then I thought of Winger, and I heard Beavis and Butthead snickering in my mind and had to give that idea up. It’s seriously a hard decision to make.

Angel Down by Sebastian Bach fuckin’ shreds… I still think that he and Axl have the best (intact) voices in hair metal.

I would also like to nominate

LIZZY BORDEN!

I don’t like absolutes. I’m naming favorite hair metal bands… not my favorite.

God, I love that photograph!

I do love Axl too. He’s a little freaky now, but he was sure dreamy in his time!

The whole concept of hair metal is freaky, but in an escapist way (think of a less harmful conspicuous consumption… for the Thorstein Veblen fans out there… yeah, I’m somewhat of a dork)… anyway, if I could have a meal with any famous person alive right now, here are my top five:

1) Axl Rose

2) Ryan Adams

3) Gary Busey

4) Maynard James Keenan

5) Christina Aguilera (crushcrushcrush)

That’s just me. Axl Rose is eccentric.

Gary Busey?? Seriously? That would be the freakiest meal ever. For sure. My top five would be (this is hard cause I’ve never thought it through before, so you get what’s on the top of my head):

1) Ryan Adams

2) Gwyneth Paltrow (my biggest girl crush of all time)

3) Albert Camus (of course this is impossible, but I love this man).

4) Madonna (I’m convinced she’s got some great theories on life)

5) Bjork (major envy)

I think I might have to many females on the list. I generally can’t communicate well with my own sex, but these are the best of the best I think.

GAME

letuslive:

raindrop:

davidryanadams:

seriously.

a re-blog game.

Name of Favorite Hair Metal Band.

I will Start. White Lion

I’m gonna go with Skid Row. I originally thought of Bon Jovi, since I was certainly caught up in his sex appeal for a period of time, but I was like 8 years old max, so maybe it doesn’t count these days. Sebastian Bach always seemed a little more rebellious though, which is a sure way to tug at a girl’s heartstrings. Then I thought of Winger, and I heard Beavis and Butthead snickering in my mind and had to give that idea up. It’s seriously a hard decision to make.

Angel Down by Sebastian Bach fuckin’ shreds… I still think that he and Axl have the best (intact) voices in hair metal.

I would also like to nominate

LIZZY BORDEN!

I don’t like absolutes. I’m naming favorite hair metal bands… not my favorite.

God, I love that photograph!

I do love Axl too. He’s a little freaky now, but he was sure dreamy in his time!

flirting

davidryanadams:

oh, well,

i like people a lot even though i choose to be alone.

as for flirting

doesn’t that happen by itself-

i mean

it’s not my perception is it- i am just saying things and then things are said

like normal exchanges

i am thinking it might be others over chewing their food reading far too into things

and people here

that is what is scary

Flirting makes me happy. Everyone should flirt whenever possible. Keeps the heart pumping.